The ability to parent well doesn’t happen overnight - as a child and teen I didn’t realize that. I thought you were born with these skills - it was instinctual.
Aspects of it are, but not in the full scope of what most offspring require, these are learned through hard work, dogged determination, and failure.
Looking at it now - children are the ultimate “start up”. They require generous amounts of nurturing, investing, growing, sustaining, guiding, mentoring, and most of all loving. No easy feat for anyone.
Dad didn’t teach me a lot of what Dad’s are “supposed” to teach, and we weren’t exceptionally close for years, but life changed that; life and time. But I can tell you what’s in season at most farmer’s markets without being there, and I’m certain my attraction to intelligent women was his doing. He doesn’t understand why I love non fiction however.
When I was young he’d play AC/DC’s For Those About to Rock (We Salute You) after church and I’d wail on my air guitar and leap off furniture clothed in my Sunday best. I hope he knows that’s him in me, I’m still very much that boy today.
Then, we’d go to record shows, and he’d let me leave with stacks of 45’s and I’d sprint into my room play them and come back and tell him which I liked and why with detailed notes that seemed brilliant to 10 year old me.
Now, our conversations are frequent and even when they’re adult and boring they’re revelatory.
I guess what I’m saying is, the axiom is true: time indeed does heal all wounds, but not until you’re ready for those wounds to heal.
No amount of stories, perspective, or effort can change the situation if you aren’t ready.
I love you Dad - thanks for teaching me how to love, I’m a better man than any game of catch would have made me.
