Why does exhaustion and inspiration run side by side?
Is it because we put up too many walls of resistance and orthodoxy to know what it is to truly be inspired anymore? Is daily life so routine that we can’t take the time to enjoy the small things in life.
If there is one thing I’m realizing about life in the states its that so much is taken care of for us.
There is more efficiency to life in the US than anywhere else (with transport being an exception) but still we insist on wanting more for less and not seeing the large part of beauty that is right in front of us.
I had a great conversation recently about gardening - and for me that generally means watering grass.
Sobeit.
I miss watering my 10 x 10 patch of grass yard in LA more than I miss my car. I don’t love that it ties me down as much as its beauty and growth, nurtured almost selfishly for myself, by myself.
I have been to places I never thought I’d see without being drafted into a modern world war that drafts slightly out of shape (near) 30’s something American males to fight in, and come to realize that I’ve survived the past to be able to thrive in this.
Yet, I’m here, still aware of the past and the pain and joy and sadness it brings.
And while its certainly self involved to post pictures of yourself traveling to far away places, I feel more aware of my limitations and strengths with each passing day. While being grounded is useful when building a tower straight up, being light as a feather allows you to chase opportunity and experience all of the freedoms we’re afforded.
That’s why you’ll find me chancing fates fury rather than beckoning to its call - don’t heed to life’s slow massage of death - seize like an epileptic - fully aware of their condition, reveling in the sweet release, knowing bad times come as swiftly as good.
So for now I’m a feather - looking for opportunities, exhausted and inspired.
Off to France, Sardinia, and Corsica this weekend.
As of now I’ll be back in the states in less than two weeks.
Unless I’m not.
